I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
