so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
