You're my little dorito
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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