just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
