quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
