based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
