We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
