apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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