so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm at about main and main street
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
