I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
