but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im holly from the hills drunk
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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