I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize