What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
