im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
