After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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