you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Holy shit dude........stairs
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