eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize