Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
