things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
