doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Don't make out with my wife yet
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize