I skipped work to stalk him.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
