Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
