my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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