Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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