I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
