Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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