yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
