tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
