What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
