I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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