he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
