we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize