it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
