Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize