at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
