I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
