I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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