Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
