IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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