Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
