i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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