This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
