Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
