She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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