i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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