I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
