but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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