That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
