I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
