i don't like sucking hair
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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