i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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