Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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