He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
