so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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