He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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